bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Randomize