sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You just made me feel so damn special
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
