True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
