Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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