Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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