Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
