Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
