Your face is a jimmy john
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
