There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize