the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
