Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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