He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My dick has a subreddit
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
