Your tits are I can't wait for
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
