There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
