I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
