Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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