so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just want nice things and good sex
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
