you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize