It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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