8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
