what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
