Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
