I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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