ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
