are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
