Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
