He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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