we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
