Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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