Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
