you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
too bad you live with your parents still
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
