if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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