Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
