Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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