Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
