I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Are we still banned from the library?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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