And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is my gift to your gina
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
