it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
