So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
