I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize