fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
