ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
