so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
