Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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