ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
as a side note pls kill me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
