He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
