Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
