SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
