Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize