No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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