my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
