I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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