It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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