That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
