3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
