Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
