we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
