how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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