threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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