At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
