chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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