I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
