i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
