I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
