I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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